Shadows & Reflections Pt.1

Forget about complexity, the first rule of self-discovery is learning how creative you have grown. Nothing is complex in either scientific or conventional wisdom. Complexity requires definitive rules that just aren’t there, whereas Creativity just requires a beginning and an adaptive attitude. If you know you are learning something it’s a safe bet there’s value in continuing to do what it is you’re doing. Getting bored of things just might be a sign there’s not much to appreciate, but sure, yeah you are trying to have fun. I’m moving out of home that has been kinda my own for the last 6 years. This comes into the poetry of my own experience and a drama of many events of wider life. Obama has had ten months in office, questionable in the kind of change he can approve of, let alone pass. I can’t see him bringing any peace for Christmas. What I leave behind is part of the story, what I’m heading towards must also find a place in events unfolding here and in time.


POETIC SENSE

You bring life to these words, your whole being shapes the way in which the world turns.

Sentences, impressions of expressivness, reflect to you a sequence of how one action leads to the responses your getting.

Your vision step by step carries you closer to meaning, understanding cause & effect and the position of everything.

Relatively speaking, describes transitions from existence to being, shifting attention from where we’ve been to where we’re heading.



To understanding complexity requires a singularly penetrating intellect to grasp the essence of pure subject, a creative system only requires a sense or thought as a beginning. Complexity does not exist for a purpose beyond a patterning of logic, the scattering of attention to details that don’t easily relate to in a state of wholeness. Creativity IS purpose, it’s the expression of people being, in a state of confusion, tension, calm, sensitive.

From historic events, we retrace some of the steps taken by many of the residents in the house. Matteus was first to depart being Louche and not finding things at all to his taste. I can appreciate where he was coming from but I decided to wrestle my own pleasures from these walls, with a little effort being comforted by the way things were arranged. I’m an absolute control freak and this is the skill that I am re-directing in the planning of my life’s next turn in direction. The control is being applied to this work and the negotiations, in how I continue to live in the moment. Christmas is a week away, It’s my Mums birthday today and we’ve got four days left to leave the house after bargaining a few more days in household appliances. Only me and Special K remain Bingo Goodblood, who’s partial remains are still stored in the loft, now have anything left to take or chuck away. I use names that few people would recognise, I like the risqué effect that a little recognition brings. You only need to know they have a meaningful name, such as K having a special diet. It might effect some of the other people mentioned professionally or a little personally. For me it means I am exposed, a tax dodger who remains, laughingly on the run from HMRC, agents I have challenged through the courts without support for my case. My contention is that they are agents of mass murdering gangsters who are applying heavy-hand tactics and demanding my money with menaces. I have refused to financially support them any more than I already have and stated as much in court evidence. There is also the question whether Tax is legally interpreted as a cost or an investment. This being resolved, allows me to know if I am reclaiming my costs or disputing the profits I’m supposed to be reaping in. Again, the name I put to the book is an interpretation not the real fish in this ocean.

The Customs and Revenues chaps who came round the house seem to think I don’t have a leg to stand on. This could be a lone-stand and I would not falter in the aim, the bullets of the defence are loaded in the actions of those I accuse, in the Rotten Boroughs of Private Eye. The suppressed data and false competition Laws that keep banks and corporations from paying the dues they owe. From the recognisable being enveigled through designs and trifles that only offer vague scope for jigsawing patterns into threads we can stitch together in a lifetime.

This story ends mid February when I have to leave the comforts of security in resting my head somewhere regular. My control need is so great that I have always sought to know what I am doing and why this or that is happening. Why the requirement of living is as it is, I know this will all end in a finite point of realisation. I’ve already died for one mistress so I’m wedded to what emerges in the light of day. The first Love is always unspoken because the passion is too great and must be kept a secret. It cannot be seen for the obsession it is, the object, the subject isn’t Love. Nothing will remain except the story and things I’ll take on this journey.

An In-betweener

I'm posting fragments when I get the chance, an internet computer and time on my hands. It's odd because time has moved on from the period presented and right now I'm not where your at with this story.

Each segment is a bite sized chunk, lumped together, there's more threads and meanings appearing and getting woven into the fabric. Look back if you've been missing out.

FIRST INSTALLMENT OF THE REAL MOTORCYCLE DIARIES

THE OPPOSITE WAY TO EVERYONE


I could believe you but I don’t. You say we’re almost all alone together, we’re all alone. You say you will I know you won’t.


I was wrong to ever doubt, I could get along without.


Yeah I can love my fellow man but I’m damned if I’ll love yours.


In a bar that’s always closing, in a world where people change. I don’t want to talk this over, I don’t want to talk it out.

- Andrew Eldritch.

If you’re going to do Globalisation do it like Sony, completely. Like Tesco’s out of Town superstores, there’s a real logic in the next generation Blue Water Malls. What we discover about people can become a part of how we happily live life, the Malls are designed and equipped with every newness that could fascinate and delight the senses so why don’t our roads get designed the same way? If people have choice, everyone decides to get into the best position to choose. Sometimes the shoes in the first shop suit you best but how could you know, without looking around? Whatever it is we hope for it’s hard to come by and harder to hold, I can sense that I’ve grown old, a little more jaded with the world. In some way unburdening this lumber I’ve collected together between these covers, lightens my load and the gravitas of the mass being processed is released energetically between you and me.

This collection of words reflects my search for something rarely found and only whispered in secrets. It isn’t a search for eternal life, only a hint, a glimmer or some sense of what all the uncertainty’s about. It isn’t like Jung’s secret symbols and relationships of thought, though like him I suspected these topics might be taken to the grave. These are secrets that reveal themselves once you begin to take an interest, questions that find answers in the most encompassing fashion. It’s said the Gods despise those who would Love Life or take it carelessly. My disposition to them is generous, even elegant compared to an unschooled, lack of experience that comes from never knowing mistakes. I take it a sense in all of us decides to make steps toward future events, which arrive whether we are ready or not. In the cut-and-thrust of business it may seem reasonable to dispense with care and compassion...here in the real world it’s all that counts the instinct for consideration before the roaming ignorance. It’s the only cost measured against our wounded heart and unsatisfied self. Beyond the action movies and emotional appeals of televised drama, what stands any wo/man out from a crowd, holds their shoulders proud?

No-one is fooled and the only fools are we, ourselves for letting go of the reins, getting caught up in events. I find it amazing how life twists and turns a kind of fortune and balance into every element we can grasp or find from human exploits. It isn’t true, in today’s world saying “It IS voter despondency leading to less turn-out at the Polls”. The voters I know, including myself, are disenchanted and disenfranchised from the current system of government. Even the voting public don’t really have a sense of power, so what’s going on there?

I’ve got eight weeks to write this and it’s happening when everyone in England knows there are very few honourable members representing the people of the land. This isn’t going to be a criticism of rule, of class or a system that must be raged against. It is difficult to find anything pleasing to associate with politicians; who claim things that have always happened as ‘policy victories’ and blame much of the failures on forces beyond their control. This is even if they choose to comment at all. I‘ve spent a lifetime extending an influence, retreating, learning and refining my reference points, now I have something to say. I doubt any other person has spent so much time analysing their behaviours since the last period of psycho-dynamic industrialism, when things were made or made believable. Since then there have been many changes in how changes are sold and how old ideas can be re-told in modern terms, fabled rewards, profits and mechanisms to keep the books balancing.

Here's my ride as it looks at this time, parked up at the house I'll tell you more about.